Tech assistant throws herself a $2000 going away party while her boss is out of town, doesn't actually quit: 'She called it a 'social experiment''

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 13, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Being an assistant is a tricky job. You have to work incredibly closely with your boss and act on their behalf. And if you're a personal assistant, you probably have to help with aspects of their life that aren't work-related. You might have to schedule appointments, pick up their dry cleaning, run personal errands, and deal with their family. This can lead to a blurring of the professional and the personal world. You're in their lives, and they're in yours. 

But it's still a job. You can't lean fully into being their friend, or else drama is bound to ensue. And you certainly can't be reckless with the purse strings. That's rule number one of assistant jobs. But one assistant failed to understand that and took major advantage of their close relationship with her employer while they were away. Read on for the wild story and see what you would have done. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10427527936
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 02
    AITA for firing my assistant after she used company money to throw herself a "farewell party" ... but didn't actually quit?
    via u/FrostingRegular1328
  • 03
    So, I (28F) own a mid-sized tech consulting firm and recently hired a new assistant, Lily (26F), a few months ago. She seemed competent, though she had a quirky personality and sometimes blurred professional lines.
    via u/FrostingRegular1328
  • 04
    Last week, I was out of town for a conference, and while I was away, Lily emailed everyone in the company, announcing she was "leaving to pursue new horizons" and threw herself a massive farewell party at the office. She used the company credit card to order catering, decorations, custom cake, and even arranged for a bartender to set up a drink station in the break room. The total bill was close to $2,000.
    via u/FrostingRegular1328
  • 05
    When I came back, I was shocked. Not only did I never receive a resignation from her, but she also hadn't actually quit! When I confronted her, she said she was "testing" how much people appreciated her and wanted to see if anyone would "convince her to stay." She called it a "social experiment."
    via u/FrostingRegular1328
  • 06
    I was furious and fired her on the spot for misuse of company funds and deceptive behavior. Now, she's blowing up on social media, claiming I'm a "soulless boss" who has "no respect for mental health and personal exploration." She says I should have appreciated her "creative way of bonding with the team."
    via u/FrostingRegular1328
  • 07
    Some friends are telling me I might have overreacted and that maybe I should have just docked her pay or given her a warning instead. I'm torn because I do value my employees, but this felt like an absurd breach of trust. So, AITA for firing her immediately over a "farewell party" that wasn't even real?
    via u/FrostingRegular1328
  • 08
    Cursd818 1d ago • NTA Report her to police for fraud or theft. Pursue the amount she spent in court. Ask a lawyer if you can respond on social media that she stole $2k from your business. If he says go ahead, do it. And reconsider if you want to be friends with people who seriously think you should allow yourself and your business to be abused like that. Why don't they want you to stand up for yourself? Are they similarly used to taking advantage of you?
    via u/Cursd818
  • 09
    One4TheMoney • 1d ago. Also, waiting until you were out of office?! She knew you wouldn't approve so she chose to ask for forgiveness. I've been an assistant. I acted as an extension and representative for my leader. I've also shut down other assistants who thought they could manipulate the system (spend company funds on themselves) when they saw any opportunity for it.
    via u/One4TheMoney
  • 10
    zoyarosse • 1d ago NTA. Lily's actions were completely inappropriate and unprofessional. Using company funds for a personal party without authorization is a serious offense, and her social experiment excuse is ridiculous. You have every right to be furious and to fire her for her behavior.
    via u/zoyarosse
  • 11
    roxywalker • 1d ago • NTA. She took advantage of access to the company credit card, misused funds, and committed fraud by lying to the entire company about her departure and celebrating at your expense. Any one of those is a reason to separate her employment from the company,
    via u/roxywalker
  • 12
    but all three? That's grounds for suing her because she's taken her ridiculous stance to social media to blast you. All you did was hire the wrong person for the job and go to a conference. Now she's pivoting towards slander. No way.
    via u/roxywalker
  • 13
    • Downtown_Bag_8008 1d ago • You own a tech company, so you are not uneducated. Yet you question whether you were inappropriate for firing someone who embezzled $2000 to throw herself a party? I question whether this is real!
    via u/Downtown_Bag_8008
  • 14
    Firing and charges are what is appropriate in this scenario. No one in their right mind would think otherwise. This is straight-up theft which is an immediate termination offense. If you want to give her a chance, then give her a chance to not go to jail by not pursuing charges. But as for her job? I wouldn't even allow her back in the parking lot
    via u/Downtown_Bag_8008
  • 15
    llama_llama_48213 . 1d ago. Overreacting?! Her actions were completely inappropriate and I hope her final paycheck is docked. "Social experiment" my 1. Creative gibberish nonsense. With some companies, she'd have been charged with theft or fraud. She should consider herself lucky. A warning comes off she's late everyday for a week. That wasn't this.
    via u/llama_llama_48213
  • 16
    BlueGreen_1956 • 1d ago • NTA Lily sounds deranged. Obviously, she is also an attention but that is pretty common these days. I love the "mental health and personal exploration" excuse. I would say "F her mental health and personal exploration." And then tell her she is lucky that your firing her will help her personally explore her mental health somewhere new.
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 17
    jayshawnkelly • 17h ago Lily's spent company money on th rowing a party that was at most not only uncalled for but was fraud in i tself. Regardless of the reasoning or personal feelings, that in itself is a severe breach of trust. Its company money, and you are responsible for how that money is spent.
    via u/jayshawnkelly
  • 18
    • slim_bad_boy_ 17h ago. NTA. To use the company's money for a private affair, and that, too, not even a "farewell" in earnest, but a self-serving "social experiment," is a serious breach of trust and professionalism. That is a serious ab e of means put at your disposal, and that is not something that should go lightly. You could have faced financial or reputational consequences if you hadn't acted swiftly.
    via u/slim_bad_boy_
  • 19
    Hot_Check5135 • 1d ago Definitely NTA and I would press charges against her to recover the $2,000.00.
    via u/Hot_Check5135
  • 20
    honeysparkledream • 14h ago • You've got to protect your business, and her behavior was way out of line. The fact that she's now trying to spin it as a creative bonding idea just proves she doesn't get it.
    via u/honeysparkledream
  • 21
    Dorzack 1d ago • • NTA - Unless your company is involved in psychiatric consulting and experimenting, social experiments are not work related. She essentially stole over $2000.00 by throwing that party on the company dime. If she wants to do social experiments she should be doing it on her own time and dime.
    via u/Dorzack
  • 22
    7625607 1d ago NTA. What she did was completely inappropriate and unprofessional. But next time, hire someone with job experience, not a "quirky" 26 year old who is concerned with how much her coworkers like her.
    via u/7625607

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